Living and Existing

The revelation of Tom Outland's story leads to the Professor's reflection upon his own life. It seems to me that he attributes his "mid-life crisis" to his marriage. He remembers himself as a simple, nature-loving young boy, but because he fell in love with Lilian, he "needed to" get married, get a job, have children. He now realizes that all these happened by chance, and he describes them as "a chain of events," as if he was not in control of them... as if after falling in love his life took on a life of its own and he was just going through the motions.

I think Tom Outland represents the Professor's ideals. His excavation in the Southwest is closely related to nature. Tom discovers many American Indian relics and goes to Washington hoping to get a professional archaeologist to discover the truth about the mesa. He thinks of the relics as things belonging to the American Indians, and he or Roddy should not be using them to gain personal profit. He is not materialistic, and places nature before money. So when Roddy sells the relics to a German for four thousand dollars, he is outraged.

Tom's love for nature and disregard for money are qualities of the Professor in his youth -- "the original, unmodified Godfrey St. Peter." Perhaps, in some subconscious way, the Professor wishes he could still afford to practice these qualities. This could explain why the Professor was so taken to Tom and developed a connection with him that went beyond that of a teacher-student relationship. They went on several summer trips together to the Southwest and to Old Mexico. A third trip, which never materialized, was also centered around nature. It could also be this longing-for-original-self that fuels the Professor's attachment to his old house.

But the Professor also appears to be conflicted in his reflections. Money/Lilian's inheritance enabled him to build a family, and he had the responsibility to earn more money to sustain his family (vicious cycle). While his family is away during the summer, he returns to his "first nature," and he dreads his family's return. It would be entirely reasonable to speculate that he holds a mild sort of resentment towards his family, because they represent the responsibilities and societal pressures in his life. And yet he says he loves them, he "would make any sacrifice for them" -- does this love stem from a sense of duty towards duty? Or is it that although he does not regret his life, he can't help thinking it wasn't what he meant it to be?

There seems to be a parallel between the Professor and Scott with regard to talent/interest and career/money/love. Scott takes on the job of writing good-cheer articles because he needed money to marry Kathleen, but this is not what he truly wants to do and he is unhappy. ...how come money plays such an important role in marriage? Should one sacrifice happiness and satisfaction in the pursuit of money?

This is a longish quote from the novel that strikes me:

"It never struck me, Doctor, that you were a man who would be keeping up two establishments. They'll be coming home pretty soon, and then you'll have to decide where you are going to live."

"I can't leave my study, Scott. That's flat."

"Don't, then! Darn it, you've a right to two houses if you want 'em."

The ending of the novel suggests that the Professor does intend to keep both these houses, which represent different things for him. I do not understand the implications of his decision and how he will proceed in life with regard to family, career, and nature, but (as one who believes in "doing what you love and loving what you do") I applaud him. If I wrote a paper/review about this novel, I would write about the Professor who finally realized the difference between living and existing -- and chose to live.