Growing Up

I was really struck by the section in the very beginning of the novel, during Jerome’s emails to Howard, when Jerome says, “now, listen to this next bit carefully: in the morning THE WHOLE KIPPS FAMILY have breakfast together and a conversation TOGETHER and then get into a car TOGETHER (are you taking notes?) - I know, I know – not easy to get your head around. I never met a family who wanted to spend so much time with each other.” This brought up a lot of the questions about morals and values that I have been thinking about lately. I grew up with family dinners every night, family workouts and chores every weekends and family vacations every winter break and every summer break. A lot of my friends, however, grew up eating dinners by themselves in their rooms, with no curfews and no family vacations. Before I came to college, I was so jealous of their freedom. I wanted their independence and freedom. However, now that I finally have that independence, I realize how much I miss all that family time. I realize that the point of it all was not to enforce the rules or to limit my freedom; it was so that we would end up wanting “to spend so much time with each other”. It is also interesting to look at the expectations American families put on their college children. Up until I left for college, I was expected to spend that much time with my family. However, once I graduated, everything changed. I was not allowed to stay home for college and was almost not allowed to come home more than twice a year. My dad does not want to have conversations with me anymore because he “did not send me to college so I could talk with him”. I went from having mandatory family time to having limited family time. I guess I am just really confused about how I am supposed to grow up. Is it possible to grow up at home? Or do you need to be across the country in order to do that?