essays and apathy

Portia's job is selling the college, but I don't think that she works in admissions because she believes in the college experience. Portia works in admissions because she is addicted to the folders with their “perfect paper people.” She can't keep herself from getting attached to the people whose applications she reads. Also, I think that Portia sees some of herself in the applicants, and this is another huge draw for her. She is still at a stage in her life where she isn't sure of her own achievements and commitments, just like the applicants. Portia has many astute observations about college students that I think are very reflective of having been on both sides of the process. These observations are sort of where the great literature happens in the book, when Portia talks about the difference between the confident applications that she receives and the students that then materialize, the students who never believe that they are good enough. These observations are profound and revealing, both about Portia's character and, probably, what her college experience was like. She also talks about the college experience as being part of a tradition, which is an aspect of the college experience that ties in with This Side of Paradise.

I enjoy the excerpts from college essays that come at the beginning of the chapters, I don't know if you guys have been reading those, but you probably should. The excerpts really frame the story, and I think some of them give us more insight into what Portia has to deal with on a daily basis. Many of them are heart wrenching, and I find myself wondering how she can stand carrying those secrets along with her in her daily life. Other essay excerpts are generic and tedious, even in short form, and these remind us that, although Portia does read many stories that are deep and terrible and secret, this is her job. The fact that Portia returns to her folders when her world is shattered by the loss of her partner is interesting. Throughout the novel Portia seems to prefer the people as they appear on applications to actual flesh and blood people. She even thinks of the people she meets sort of in terms of the kind of information that they would put on their application, or the kind of applicant that they would be.

Portia is not necessarily satisfied with her work in the admissions office, but she doesn't know what else she could be doing. She is sort of bereft of her own life. She has been going along with her relationship with Mark and her job in admissions because it was fine, and she didn't see any need to change it, even though she was no longer passionate about her relationship with Mark and she feels like she doesn't have much to show for her years of work. Portia's apathy about her life is sort of scary because it isn't obviously a bad thing, but at the same time it is fundamentally disturbing.