Need-Based

The debate about whether Carl should be in Claire's class is interesting. It seems to raise the question of who deserves to be a student.

We know from his well-received performance at the Bus Stop that Carl is brilliant and talented. Claire invites him to come to her poetry class, and he concurs. At first, he is hesitant and skeptical about being in the class. He probably thinks he doesn't belong there: he knows that he and classrooms do not go well together, and although everyone raves about his poems, he does not even perceive them as a form of art - "it's just rap" (259). When Claire asks him if he wants to be in the class, he is inclined to express his apathy (but instead he says he is.. learning). So, what is Carl's motivation for attending the class? The answer could be Claire. She has "that special teacher thing", there is "the right amount of flirting" going on between them, and she earnestly wants him to do well (260).

Claire declares that anybody who needs her class will stay in the class (261). Her intentions are quite noble; she brings "waifs and strays" from outside the Wellington community into her class, and fights to keep them in. But simultaneously, she is keeping out 120 Wellington students from her class - people who pay their tuition fees and the resources the university has to offer. Isn't it unfair for these students? What is it that determines who "needs" or who "deserves" an education? (Is this whole issue parallel to college admissions?) Consider:

- talent (Carl)
- potential
- passion
- determination/ambition (Zora)
- money

Carl: Claire thinks he needs the class as he has talent which she wants to refine, but he is largely apathetic about the class. We see a world of difference between this and later when Erskine creates a job for him in the Black Studies Department as Hip-Hop Archivist. There, he finds the drive to work, and benefits far more than he could have in Claire's class. My interpretation of this plot point is that.. even though going to college is the norm, it is not something that benefits everyone. Carl would probably be miserable if he had been kept in Claire's class, but he found a place outside of the classroom where he could pursue his passion and utilize his talent in a way that suited his tastes.

Chantelle, Bronwyn, Wong: They seem to be in a category of people who are talented but do not have the opportunity to go to college. I like the fact that Claire takes them under her wing and wants to cultivate their talent, because I think everyone should be given the chance to obtain education. But I understand the dissatisfaction of the other 120 students on the waitlist - I would feel the same way if I was the first student on the waitlist, I pay $50,000 a year for tuition, I really want to learn more about poetry, and yet a free spot in the class goes to some non-student, at the discretion of the professor.

The conversation between Claire and Jack ends when Claire says, "I know what happens in universities," and it implies how much politics and economics and other factors go into the operation of an educational institution. At the end of the day, an educational institution is not just about education.

Belsey children

I was kind of touched and sort of relieved at the scene where Jerome, Zora, and Levi all just happen to run into one another as Jerome is getting off the bus to come back home. As much turmoil, tension, and general unease as there is in their family right now, I thought their excitement about the spontaneous reunion was very reassuring. Since the beginning the Belseys are portrayed as a very dubious act of a family. Especially because of the way Jerome describes his (although somewhat facetious) awe at how well the Kipps family operates. Their little accidental reunion was very cute, though, especially the way none of them could believe that they had actually run into each other that way and they even went so far as to call Kiki and excitedly tell her what had happened. And the kids of course all go into the coffee shop and have a nice talk together… even though their awkward family situation is discussed (the tension between Kiki and Howard) and the Kippses, including Victoria, are brought up. Altogether it seemed a very positive and hopeful scene; maybe the Belseys can still persist as a family in some way or another.

The thing that worries me most, though, is how distant Levi can be. I understand that he is trying to be cool and “street” and all that, but the way he can just completely disengage from his family whenever he wants/feels like it is rather disconcerting. For instance, after a while at the coffee house he just suddenly says goodbye, gets up and leaves. Similarly, he said he was “out” when his family went to the concert and walked away from the family when Howard was fooling around and being embarrassing. They all laughed at this and I thought it was funny too, but then Levi really did disappear for the rest of the time they were at the concert and did not sit with his family. I was saddened at this because Levi just seems so disconnected from his family in a very real way. I don’t doubt that he still loves them, but he just doesn’t care in a certain way. He also seems to be getting into possible trouble with the odd group of friends he has chosen to hang out with (all of whom are much more legitimately “street” than he is, although he has to lie and pretend he is as legit as they are) and the fact that they are hustling now. I’m kind of worried because I feel like Levi will probably continue down this path into more dangerous and destructive activities as he feels the need to prove himself to these people.

Growing Up

I was really struck by the section in the very beginning of the novel, during Jerome’s emails to Howard, when Jerome says, “now, listen to this next bit carefully: in the morning THE WHOLE KIPPS FAMILY have breakfast together and a conversation TOGETHER and then get into a car TOGETHER (are you taking notes?) - I know, I know – not easy to get your head around. I never met a family who wanted to spend so much time with each other.” This brought up a lot of the questions about morals and values that I have been thinking about lately. I grew up with family dinners every night, family workouts and chores every weekends and family vacations every winter break and every summer break. A lot of my friends, however, grew up eating dinners by themselves in their rooms, with no curfews and no family vacations. Before I came to college, I was so jealous of their freedom. I wanted their independence and freedom. However, now that I finally have that independence, I realize how much I miss all that family time. I realize that the point of it all was not to enforce the rules or to limit my freedom; it was so that we would end up wanting “to spend so much time with each other”. It is also interesting to look at the expectations American families put on their college children. Up until I left for college, I was expected to spend that much time with my family. However, once I graduated, everything changed. I was not allowed to stay home for college and was almost not allowed to come home more than twice a year. My dad does not want to have conversations with me anymore because he “did not send me to college so I could talk with him”. I went from having mandatory family time to having limited family time. I guess I am just really confused about how I am supposed to grow up. Is it possible to grow up at home? Or do you need to be across the country in order to do that?

On Being the Professor's Kid and Leaving Home for College

So, as we know, in On Beauty both Victoria and Zora go to school where their fathers' teach. Not just work, not even just teacher (not make teaching sound all that simple, but you know), but have this huge, talked about, on-going argument. And while not everyone knows, it has to effect their (already vastly different) social experiences.

As the post below me talks about, a big part of college is the social aspect. How major of an aspect is up for discussion, but you can't put a whole bunch of young people in one place and not expect some kind of dynamic to emerge. And to me, that at least part of the point. We've discussed this [American?] phenomenon in class-- why do we feel the need to make college the time to strike out and away from home and comfort/? So, as we know, in On Beauty both Victoria and Zora go to school where their fathers' teach. Not just work, not even just teacher (not make teaching sound all that simple, but you know), but have this huge, talked about, on-going argument. And while not everyone knows, it has to effect their (already vastly different) social experiences.

As the post below me talks about, a big part of college is the social aspect. How major of an aspect is up for discussion, but you can't put a whole bunch of young people in one place and not expect some kind of dynamic to emerge. And to me, that at least part of the point. We've discussed this [American?] phenomenon in class-- why do we feel the need to make college the time to strike out and away from home and comfort? In On Beauty, Jerome chooses to go to Brown over Wellington but Zora decides to stay at home. I think this is reflected in her maturity. Sure, academics wise she's on top of her game, but Zora seems me to be a bit behind the curve of maturity. I feel like she would have been better served to try and make it a bit more on her own, especially because of her father. While Zora seems to relishes the insider-info she has (or pretends to have, in some cases), I feel like I would hate it. It seems to me that college is at least somewhat about finding your own way, learning to navigate the university bureaucracy, etc. Although Zora doesn't have her way paved easily, its a difference and seems to me less valuable experience.

Adultery, flirting with the enemy, and more affairs…

The developing relationships between Carlene and Kiki, as well as Zora and Claire are interesting. While the relationships between supposed enemies improve, the situation between Howard and Kiki only seems to worsen. I feel obliged to sympathise for Kiki, given the fact that Howard refuses to give her an explanation to the affair. She has every right to be mad at him, and her ugly comments concerning the affair are fuelled by her rage towards his deception. Their heated confrontation reveals the deep love that Kiki had for Howard, and has left her somewhat mentally fragmented. Howard acts very insensitively towards Kiki, especially when he gives the comment “I married a slim black woman” and admits that physicality was a factor that contributed towards the affair. I experienced a loss of respect towards Howard for his shallowness and willingness to further cripple Kiki’s already shaky state of mind.

The inability of Howard and Kiki to make amends to their broken marriage has harsh consequences on the three children. When Zora, Jerome and Levi all meet coincidentally in Boston, there is sympathy towards Levi for being the one who has to live under the roof in the midst of war. I am impressed by their maturity towards the subject, and also their ability to analyse the situation of Howard and Kiki and see the faults in their marriage.

When Zora follows Claire outside to smoke it is clear that there are alternative motives to her decision. The novel suggests that perhaps Zora seeks affirmation that relations between herself and Claire are not hostile in wake of the actions of her father. The casualness of their conversation comes as a surprise to me, as I would have expected Zora to express more anger towards Claire for ruining the marriage between her parents. She seems to brush off the affair and treat is more lightly than it should be. Whether or not Zora actually intends to truly befriend Claire puzzles me, but it seems that her passion for literature and the academics overwhelms her personal troubles. Claire’s invitation to get Zora to give a speech at the university also makes me ponder whether there are underlying motives to her decision. Claire makes it clear earlier on that she does not see potential in Zora, so it would seem an unfitting choice for such an important event. Perhaps she feels obligated to make amends for the affair. Given the talk with her boss earlier concerning her refusal to offer Zora a place in her class, she knows her power as a teacher are also at stake.

I feel insecure about the Carl and Zora relationship. It is shocking to know that Carl once slept with his geography teacher, and worse still that he continues to flirt with his teachers, Claire Malcolm included. Claire’s flirtation with Carl is described as being “just the right amount of flirting”. I found this statement disturbing, as how can student teacher relationships within class especially ever be justified? Zora’s affection for Carl will hurt her, and she is too naïve to even notice the mutual flirtation between Carl and Claire.

Racism and Identity

The children of Belseys, especially Levi, seem to be suffering identity and racist crisis. Levi is obviously trying to be more black than rest of his siblings. He becomes a hustler while Jerome goes to Brown and Zora is also in a prestigious university, Wellington. But is that the definition of being “more black” or is that simply the national prejudice against the race? This brings out the question of what exactly do people mean by being black? What is Zaddie Smith saying about people’s impression of what being black should be through her method of introducing Carol and through her contrast of Carol and Levi? When Carol was first introduced in the novel, his portrayed image, his speech or his accent automatically tempt me to fit him in the African American race. I felt like I was checking off a list of traits that makes him African American. So has the society, the media create in us an unspeakable racism that Zaddie Smith tries to reveal? Well, I think by creating a character such as Levi, Zaddie Smith is doing just that. Levi is trying to be more black and he seems to be extremely concerned of how society sees him as. I think Levi, like Smith, knows that there are assumptions and prejudices in the society regarding what a African American male should be like that he tries to become one to conform to society’s view. He confirms to the society’s prejudice of blackness. But yet, he is only half-black. (Well, I want to say more about this but I am not sure how to proceed. I think this issue is very interesting but I have trouble getting my thoughts on paper. Therefore, I tend to jump from thoughts to thought).

Then what does it mean to be half black? It is interesting that if a person is half black, people tend to associate that person with African American decent rather than with white decent. But the Belsey childrens do not think that they are authentic black enough. At least for Levi, which we could see it in his action.

As for Kiki, I think she is the one who tries to get her children away from the idea of trying to conform to be black. She slaps Levi when he says the f word and say something in the lines of “I try..” I think this enough to justify that Kiki tries to get Levi away from the conformity.

Friends for the low price of 50,000+/Year

Why do we go to college? To learn about things is the answer we get when we’re younger, to find a job is the answer we get when we get older, to experience life is the answer my parents tell me, to meet my future doctor husband is the answer my best friend gives me (half-joking). As freshman year is soon ending, which is bittersweet and scary, I am trying to figure out the answer for myself. Practically, I guess for my parents’ reasons and ideally, for the reasons that I learned when I was younger. But since Spring Break, I have kind of been lagging with the effort that I had been putting into my work, as I try and figure out what the answer to that important question is, hoping that the answer was to develop close relationships with my friends that will span my whole life.

If you ask Carl, he blantantly just says that you’re paying money “just so you get to talk to other people about that shit”. I laughed when I read it, partly because he’s so blunt but partly because it’s exactly true. I do my readings so that I can talk in class and prove that I did the readings, which hopefully makes me a better and more intellectual and developed person in the process, but I don’t know if it works like that. I know that I do these readings for the mandatory history class only for the fact that I have to write a paper every so often. And we learned in psychology that information only is retained if it develops some long-term importance, that when you cram for a test, you are not memorizing for meaning, but rather for semantic recognition, and this is how I usually do best. So am I really learning anything, or am I just paying to “talk to other people about that shit “ that I read about?

I think I am learning, but to what extent, I’m not sure. I know I have learned a lot more about myself than anything about history or calculus, which is probably more important anyway in the long run. Because I don’t know how often I will need to know how to take a derivative, but I’m guessing that I’ll need to know how I think and react and function in the real world, eventually. But for now, I think it’s okay that I do my work and concentrate on enjoying my friends as well, as I’m still a naïve dumb freshman, right?